Los Angeles, June 9 : Actor Elliot Page spoke about her secret relationship with a "more closeted" actress than him for almost two years. The 36-year-old 'Juno' star, who was born as Ellen Page and who came out as homosexual in February 2014 before his gender transition in December 2020, said that he met the star he refers to only as "Ryan" while making a film, and said he fell "desperately in love," reports aeshowbiz.com. "My partner was more closeted than me for a change. She was radiant - her dress, her smile, how she pushed her hair from her face, we discussed books, activism, our collective consciousness, and the deep intelligence of nature," he said in his 'Pageboy' memoir. Elliot added they first met in a coffee shop in Los Angeles when he was 26 and only a handful of people knew about the relationship. He said: "Her parents did not know. I was the friend that came for Christmas. We never touched outside, we barely went to dinner. She was in my phone under the name 'Ryan.'" Elliot recalled their "discreet but adventurous sex" which he said happened "on rocks, just below the Pacific Coast Highway, hidden in boulders in Joshua Tree National Park" and "on an airplane." He said even though Ryan once wrote him one of the "most beautiful letters I have ever received," it was not a "sustainable relationship" as it was characterised by "lying," "anxiety," and "disgust" over keeping it quit and the fact Ryan hadn't publicly come out. Elliot said that his lover could not bear the "shame" of being seen as "queer" and broke up with him, which the actor said left his heart "shattered." He added when Ryan came with a male date to a party they were both at after the split, causing him to flee the room and pretend to have food poisoning. Elliot also tells in his autobiography how he had an alleged romance with Kate Mara, 40, while the actress was dating Max Minghella, 37. Kate and Max split in 2014 after four years of dating and she is now married to actor Jamie Bell, 37, with whom she shares two children. Elliot said in his book: "This was right after I'd come out as gay and it was a time of exploration and also heartbreak. I think my relationship, or whatever you want to call it with Kate, very much encapsulates a certain dynamic that I consistently found myself in, which was falling for people that - I think a lot of us do this - who aren't fully available. And the sort of safety in that and the highs and the lows and the serotonin bump, and then it goes away." /IANS